Family is a complicated topic for many of us. We’re taught from a young age that blood and biological family is supposed to be the most important thing to us. But the world has shifted and we’re seeing a different framework than ever before.
It used to be that humans spent their formative years growing up with their bio family and other people who inhabited their immediate space. Each community had its own norms and biases, and the child would take on those community beliefs.
Then came the internet and airplanes and suddenly the world became very small. We have capacities that our ancestors couldn’t even dream of! We can be in touch with belief systems from around the world, and we can move to be closer to other individuals that we connect with.
Many of us end up in places where we either can't be with our biological family or have chosen not to be. In this new world, we get the joy of choosing what individuals make up our families. We connect because of ideals and values, forming new tribes. These tribes can be a powerful force. There is great potential in creating bonds based on ideology and intentional connection.
Unlike a biological family, these new Feather Families are made up of individuals we have chosen for ourselves.
Where Does the Term Feather Family Come From?
“Feather Family” originates from a book by Becky Chambers, A Long Way to a Small Angry Planet. Chambers writes incredible sci-fi from an anthropological point of view on the future of humanity. In her Wayfarer series, she gracefully explores new ways of being.
One of the topics that she delves into is a new way of forming families. She presents this idea through an alien species called Aandrisk, who leave their birth families and go out into the world to choose who they will make their lives with.
The newly chosen family is called a Feather Family and is just as deeply significant to the individuals as their birth families. The species is covered in feathers, and when they find someone they connect with deeply, they pluck a feather out and present it as a form of connection.
A New Way of Being
This way of forming family and relationships parallels today's modern world. People today are searching for new forms of committed relationships that look different from traditional models of the past.
Individuals now have the freedom to explore alternative connections, spirituality, and life practices. Those who are seeking are often seen as alien or wrong, being shunned by the rest of society. But by allowing ourselves to find new answers, we become capable of solving some of the problematic issues of the past.
My Story
I have always been an extremely alternative person. I am a pansexual, poly artist who follows an alternative spiritual path and lives a very different life. I left an abusive home very young and had to create a new life and family for myself. (Read more about my story HERE)
On my journey to seeking a new supportive family, I encountered the transformational festival scene. A transformational festival is a counterculture space that is co-created by a community. While they often resemble a music festival, they focus on education, community building, personal growth, creative expression, and social responsibility. Transformation not only speaks to personal growth but also the transformation of the planet towards sustainability and healing.
Once a tiny pocket of individuals, this now-vast community is full of other individuals who seek to find others who share their values. I grew up in this beautiful community, and my peers and influences were others who were focused on the creation of a new type of cultural space and family.
“Feather Family,” Necklaces
The tradition of the Feather Family necklaces began in early 2020 when the world first shut down. I had been evacuated from Honduras where I was living at the time and was in quarantine in my studio in Montreal. Montreal was on full lockdown and you weren’t allowed to share space with anyone who wasn’t your biological family.
During this time two of my best friends were scheduled to marry each other. They had to cancel their beautiful wedding because no one was allowed to gather. Their only option was to get married at the courthouse while their chosen family watched on zoom.
By that point, I hadn’t seen another human being in weeks, and I was devastated that we couldn’t all be together for this celebration of love. I wanted to do something that would connect us all physically together.
I had been reading Becky Chambers, and I absolutely loved the idea of exchanging feathers as a way of choosing family. I created the first templates for the feather necklaces, and everyone got to choose a color that resonated with them. Alone in my studio, I got to make these tiny talismans that I knew would reach the hands of my family.
Then later that year, I got married. My husband is American, and none of my friends were able to cross the border at the time without extreme measures. I found myself without my Feather Family at my own wedding. The tradition grew as I made yet more feathers for my and my and my husband's “family,” that couldn’t be there.
The tradition keeps extending as the years go on. The feathers have now gone to people around the world. Not just to my family, but to the loved ones of clients who are choosing their own families elsewhere in the world.
The “Feather Family,” Art Installation
The Feather Family art installation was conceived before the pandemic even began. Before the crisis in 2020, I worked in the summers as a touring installation artist for transformational festivals. Every year I would make a new installation or two and tour it around North America. By the spring of 2020, I had designed this installation and had scheduled bookings to show it.
Obviously, my tour schedule got canceled for that year, as well as the year after. Many of the festivals and teams that I worked for went under. The whole scene got swept away as artists and producers couldn't afford to wait it out any longer and found other jobs. My career path changed in an instant.
While touring as an installation artist may never be my full-time job again, I was grateful for the chance to set up this installation that I had so lovingly made. It was shown at Art Boreal, a tiny little Burner event in Huberdeau, Quebec.
The beautiful 13’ x 9' meditation dome was filled with stained glass feathers and a beautiful seating area. The ground cover was painted with sacred geometry and covered in comfortable pillows. The ceiling was open. You could sit on the ground and look up at the feathers dancing in the sunlight.
The intent of this art-filled meditation dome was a reflection on the idea of chosen family and the new alternative communities that we have the capacity to create. The 70+ hanging glass feathers were each handmade and completely unique, representing the vast array of humans we can invite into our lives. Each glass feather had an inset crystal and brought a different energy into space.
By bringing all the individuals together, the space becomes more than what it could have been. One glass feather would barely make an impact in the space, but all together they created a cacophony of bouncing light and beauty. Likewise, when we choose other individuals that shine brightly, we can change any space that we inhabit.
While I would still love to show this installation again someday, I’m so grateful that it was shared with my small local feather family. It was a moment of coming together that was so meaningful for me.
See the "Feather Family," installation booking details HERE!
What About You?
As always, I would love to hear your story! Let me know how you feel about the idea of chosen family. Drop me a DM on Instagram. I would love to hear from you!
